How to Start a Memoir: 10 Easy Steps for Sharing Your Story 

Memoir, Nonfiction • 7 mins
Posted by Nicole Ahlering

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None of us get through life unscathed, but the good news is we can turn our biggest obstacles (and triumphs!) into a story that inspires others. If you’re ready to learn how to start a memoir, we’re here to help. 

In this primer, we’ll go over exactly how to start a memoir successfully. These are the steps that will get you to your complete first draft, so buckle up and let’s get started.

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How to Start a Memoir: XX Simple Steps

If you want to learn how to start a memoir, here are the steps you need to follow:

1. Brainstorm your memoir’s topic

Lots of important things have happened in your life, but you can’t write about them all in one book. When learning how to start a memoir, begin by making a list of all the potential topics for your memoir. 

As you brainstorm memoir ideas, consider what themes in books or message you’d like to convey with your book. Do you want to provide hope and inspiration for others, tell a beautiful story of finding love, or something else? 

Remember that the topics you come up with should be emotionally significant, unique to you and meaningful to your readers. 

Related: The Six-Word Memoir: An Exercise on Short, Powerful Stories

2. Select the topic you’re going to write about

Now comes the hard part: choosing which topic you’re going to write about! Start by eliminating any ideas you don’t love so you’re left only with the ones that inspire you. 

Next, it’s time to apply a few screening questions. Of the topics you’ve selected, which ones are likely to make the most impact on your readers? Remove any that don’t satisfy that criteria. 

With your remaining list of topics, consider which one you’re most likely to finish a book about. Hint: its likely the topic you’re most passionate about, have the most information and resources to write, and feel you’re able to complete in a reasonable time. 

3. Flesh out your topic 

Now that you’ve got your memoir’s topic selected, it’s time to add some context. This is a great time to make a mind map, which is a visual representation of connected ideas. 

To do it, start with your memoir’s topic in the center of the page. Then create branches radiating outward with all the memories, lessons and takeaways that will support your story. 

Take time to understand the connection between each of the elements on your mind map and make notes accordingly. This will help you tremendously as you begin to write your memoir. 

4. Group your mind map into themes

So you’ve figured out how to start a memoir with a mind map – but you aren’t done! Decide which ideas are the most connected to one another and group them into themes. Examples might include coming of age, family ties, loss and grief or cultural identity. 

Each of these grouped themes will act as a chapter in your book. Yep, you’ve already figured out your chapters!

5. Make a mini mind map for each chapter

You’re still not done with the mind maps quite yet. Now you’re going to make one for each chapter you’ve created. 

Just like before, put your chapter theme in the center of your page, then draw branches off of it identifying the interconnected ideas, events and topics that support it. 

Once you’ve done this, you have the outline for how to start a memoir! Get it all on one page to guide you as you write. 

6. Select a working title for your book

We know what you’re thinking: it’s already time to choose the title for your book? Sort of. You’ll want to choose a working title, which is a—possibly temporary—title that reflects the content of your book. 

Why do this now? It’s a great way to inspire you and help you hone in on the purpose of your memoir, similar to writing the thesis statement at the start of an essay. 

We have a title generator to help you with this process. All you need to do is tell us a little bit about the memoir you’re writing. 

7. Create a writing routine 

You’re likely excited to write your memoir right now, and that’s great! But the reality is you’ll have lulls where you’re not so interested in writing. 

This is a totally normal part of writing your book, and not something to fear. Especially if you have a writing routine!

A good routine will give you the inertia you need to get through those low-motivation days, so you’ll always get one step closer to creating something you’re proud of. Without a writing routine it will be difficult to learn how to start a memoir properly.

A writing routine is a very personal thing and can vary widely by the writer. But here are some general tips: 

  • Set clear goals for how much you want to write every day. Try not to stop before you reach that goal.
  • Choose the hours during which you will write and make sure you’re at your desk (or kitchen table, or wherever!) writing during that time. No excuses.
  •  Create a space that feels comfortable and inspirational for you to write in. It should be free of distractions and stressors. 
  • Include a warm-up ritual. Sometimes it’s hard to dive straight into writing a book, but it’s easy to spend ten minutes scribbling down literally every thought that comes into your mind. This is a great way to get the juices flowing and is meant to be messy! Only you will see it. 
  • Set up a rewards system for yourself. Don’t wait until you finish your memoir to celebrate. Take yourself out for a fancy coffee or something else enjoyable each time you finish a chapter. This keeps morale high!

8. Find an accountability buddy

Even with a solid outline and writing routine in place, your devotion to your memoir may wax and wane through the writing process. This is where an accountability buddy comes in. 

Having someone to check in and share your progress with creates just the right amount of positive pressure to help you get the job done. 

This could be a friend, a writing coach, or another author you found through a writing Facebook group.

When you find your buddy, talk about how often you’ll check in, how you’ll communicate and what your goals are. Don’t forget to be honest about your progress here; your buddy should be someone who encourages you when you’re falling behind, not judges you. 

9. Start light

When learning how to start a memoir, you don’t want to begin with something heavy. Finding a way to bring light or humor to darker events will make people feel more relaxed and ease them into your book.

If your reader feels sad throughout your whole book, they simply won’t want to read it. Try engaging your readers by leading with some humor.

10. Establish a relationship with your readers

You can’t learn how to start a memoir without thinking about your readers. Memoir writers can have a personal connection with their readers, but this isn’t always the case, especially if the work is intended for a broader public rather than just family and friends.

Consider the question: Is this interaction external or internal?

Is writing your life story like sitting down with a few close friends in your living room to share your experiences (external), or is it more like having an internal dialogue while letting readers eavesdrop?

Are you speaking to an audience or reflecting privately?

To enhance your chances of success when learning how to start a memoir, be clear about your primary intent from the start and communicate it to your readers.

Doing so will help engage them and make them eager to hear more of your story.

Final thoughts on how to start a memoir

Learning how to start a memoir isn’t always easy, but it is worth it! If you have a message you want to share with the world, we want to make sure that happens. At selfpublishing.com, we’re standing by to help learn how to start a memoir – and how to finish it every step of the way. Just schedule a book consultation to get started!

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