None of us get through life unscathed, but the good news is we can turn our biggest obstacles (and triumphs!) into a story that inspires others. If you’re ready to learn how to start a memoir, we’re here to help.
In this primer, we’ll go over exactly how to start a memoir successfully. These are the steps that will get you to your complete first draft, so buckle up and let’s get started.
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Can anyone write a memoir?
Everyone can write a memoir, but not everyone can learn how to start a memoir successfully.
Success is linked to your “why?” and the subject matter.
For example, if you plan to write a memoir about your years of working as a sales clerk in a retail store, you need to ask yourself what the value of your memoir is going to be to your reader.
If you have a specific and intentional value or lesson to show the reader, then great! But if you’re just telling about your day-to-day activities with no real lesson to be learned, you may want to rethink your memoir.
You might be a good candidate to write business memoirs if you have achieved success in your field of work.
Finally, you also need to have storytelling skills to make your writing captivating and exciting for the reader. A book writing coach can help you bring everything together into a cohesive, engaging, and inspiring story – while helping you reach all the important milestones of writing and self-publishing a book.
If you look through successful memoir examples, you’ll see exactly what I am talking about. You need to have a mix of storytelling skills and value for your reader to make it big with your memoir.
That brings us to the next important topic of how to start a memoir: the key elements of a memoir.
What are the key elements of a memoir?
Every successful memoir has specific elements that contribute to its success, both from the writing standpoint and the reader’s experience.
Now that you have a clearer picture on the exact definition of a memoir (and what makes it different from an autobiography), it’s time to get clear on the important elements of a memoir. The key elements of a memoir are:
- A focused theme. Your memoir should have an overarching theme, takeaway lesson, or message for your readers. It’s not just a play-by-play of your life, but rather shows the reader something based on a specific event or experience.
- Personal experience. At its core, a memoir is a reflection on significant events or periods in the author’s life. It should focus on personal experiences and how they have shaped the author’s identity or perspective.
- Conflict. The most captivating and memorable memoirs are those that have a hero’s journey, or obstacles that the narrator must overcome. This can be internal conflict, such as personal struggles, or external, involving relationships or circumstances. How these conflicts are addressed and resolved adds depth to the narrative.
- Writing style. The reader is likely reading the story from your perspective, so make sure your writing style and voice come through your narrative. This is your chance to invite the reader into your world and tell a story from your life, so add some personality to it.
- Structure and organization. Memoirs can be structured in various ways, such as chronological, thematic, or a combination of both. A well-organized memoir helps readers follow the narrative and connect with the experiences being shared.
- Supporting stories and details. While this is a memoir about your particular experience, it will be stronger if you’re able to inject stories from other people’s lives to move your narrative along.
- Vivid descriptions. Engaging memoirs include detailed descriptions that paint a vivid picture of people, places, and events. This helps readers immerse themselves in the author’s experiences and creates a more compelling narrative.
- Storytelling elements. Your memoir needs to be an engaging, emotional experience for the reader, and the best way to create this is by incorporating the elements of storytelling. Draw on character development, the setting of the story, an exciting plot, literary elements, and more.
- Evolving narrative. A memoir often reflects personal growth or change over time. Showcasing how the author evolves or what they learn through their experiences can provide a satisfying arc to the story.
- Truth. Lastly, your memoir needs to be an honest reflection of your life experience. While it’s okay to highlight and draw attention to certain details, make sure your memoir is factual. This is not only important from a storytelling standpoint but from a legal position, too.
Crucial things to consider before writing your memoir:
Before you get started with learning how to start a memoir, there are some cold hard truths to be mindful of.
Acknowledging the realities of memoir writing will help you manage your expectations and redefine what a successful memoir means for you.
When learning how to start a memoir, you should ask yourself:
What’s in it for the reader?
If you’re not a celebrity, it may not be realistic for you to find instant world-wide success. Getting people interested in your memoir is more difficult than writing a “how to” book. That’s why it’s important to angle your memoir in a way that readers can benefit from.
Is this the right topic?
The subject or topic of your memoir has a big influence on how successful the book will be.
Are my writing skills up to snuff?
Storytelling is important when learning how to start a memoir. That isn’t to say that you need to be a super talented writer to publish a successful memoir, but you do have to use literary elements in your story.
Am I emotionally prepared?
Learning how to start a memoir can be a tremendous experience, but it can also be a daunting one. For example, if you want to write a memoir about your years of abuse in foster care, revisiting the memories may be traumatic.
That being said, learning how to write a memoir about traumatic experiences can be an incredibly empowering and healing process. You just have to be ready for it.
So, now that we’ve discussed what a memoir is and determined that you can, in fact, write one, let’s discuss how to start a memoir successfully in 12 simple steps.
How to Start a Memoir: 12 Simple Steps
If you want to learn how to start a memoir, here are the steps you need to follow:
1. Brainstorm your memoir’s topic
Lots of important things have happened in your life, but you can’t write about them all in one book. When learning how to start a memoir, begin by making a list of all the potential topics for your memoir.
As you brainstorm memoir ideas, consider what themes in books or message you’d like to convey with your book. Do you want to provide hope and inspiration for others, tell a beautiful story of finding love, or something else?
Remember that the topics you come up with should be emotionally significant, unique to you and meaningful to your readers.
Related: The Six-Word Memoir: An Exercise on Short, Powerful Stories
2. Select the topic you’re going to write about
Now comes the hard part: choosing which topic you’re going to write about! Start by eliminating any ideas you don’t love so you’re left only with the ones that inspire you.
Next, it’s time to apply a few screening questions. Of the topics you’ve selected, which ones are likely to make the most impact on your readers? Remove any that don’t satisfy that criteria.
With your remaining list of topics, consider which one you’re most likely to finish a book about. Hint: its likely the topic you’re most passionate about, have the most information and resources to write, and feel you’re able to complete in a reasonable time.
3. Identify your target audience
Knowing the purpose of your memoir can help you identify your audience, and as such identify a market for your book. This will be invaluable when the time comes to promote your memoir.
Ask yourself:
- Who is my typical reader? Examine their background, age range, career, interests, fears, etc.
- What is my reader looking for in a memoir? Does this reader expect to see heavier research, specific words and phrases, or actionable takeaways they can apply to their lives?
- What categories does this reader belong in? Is your memoir targeted at entrepreneurs, young parents-to-be, or people dealing with illness?
- Where do these readers consume information? Think of where you can reach these readers. These could be blogs and forums on the subject of your memoir. Think of where your readers can be found offline, too (clubs, organizations, associations, etc.).
Think “outside the box.” In many cases (especially for a memoir) there could be secondary audiences.
4. Do some prewriting
When you are learning how to start a memoir, there is a surprising amount of prewriting to do. You want to write down all the important stories you will want to include. You will need to decide whether you want the memoir to be in chronological order or not, and you’ll need to do quite a bit of research. This includes fact checking and confirming the dates and locations where events happened in your life.
5. Flesh out your topic
Now that you’ve got your memoir’s topic selected, it’s time to add some context. This is a great time to make a mind map, which is a visual representation of connected ideas.
To do it, start with your memoir’s topic in the center of the page. Then create branches radiating outward with all the memories, lessons and takeaways that will support your story.
Take time to understand the connection between each of the elements on your mind map and make notes accordingly. This will help you tremendously as you begin to write your memoir.
6. Group your mind map into themes
So you’ve figured out how to start a memoir with a mind map – but you aren’t done! Decide which ideas are the most connected to one another and group them into themes. Examples might include coming of age, family ties, loss and grief or cultural identity.
Each of these grouped themes will act as a chapter in your book. Yep, you’ve already figured out your chapters!
7. Make a mini mind map for each chapter
You’re still not done with the mind maps quite yet. Now you’re going to make one for each chapter you’ve created.
Just like before, put your chapter theme in the center of your page, then draw branches off of it identifying the interconnected ideas, events and topics that support it.
Once you’ve done this, you have the outline for how to start a memoir! Get it all on one page to guide you as you write.
8. Select a working title for your book
We know what you’re thinking: it’s already time to choose the title for your book? Sort of. You’ll want to choose a working title, which is a—possibly temporary—title that reflects the content of your book.
Why do this now? It’s a great way to inspire you and help you hone in on the purpose of your memoir, similar to writing the thesis statement at the start of an essay.
We have a title generator to help you with this process. All you need to do is tell us a little bit about the memoir you’re writing.
9. Create a writing routine
You’re likely excited to write your memoir right now, and that’s great! But the reality is you’ll have lulls where you’re not so interested in writing.
This is a totally normal part of writing your book, and not something to fear. Especially if you have a writing routine!
A good routine will give you the inertia you need to get through those low-motivation days, so you’ll always get one step closer to creating something you’re proud of. Without a writing routine it will be difficult to learn how to start a memoir properly.
A writing routine is a very personal thing and can vary widely by the writer. But here are some general tips:
- Set clear goals for how much you want to write every day. Try not to stop before you reach that goal.
- Choose the hours during which you will write and make sure you’re at your desk (or kitchen table, or wherever!) writing during that time. No excuses.
- Create a space that feels comfortable and inspirational for you to write in. It should be free of distractions and stressors.
- Include a warm-up ritual. Sometimes it’s hard to dive straight into writing a book, but it’s easy to spend ten minutes scribbling down literally every thought that comes into your mind. This is a great way to get the juices flowing and is meant to be messy! Only you will see it.
- Set up a rewards system for yourself. Don’t wait until you finish your memoir to celebrate. Take yourself out for a fancy coffee or something else enjoyable each time you finish a chapter. This keeps morale high!
10. Find an accountability buddy
Even with a solid outline and writing routine in place, your devotion to your memoir may wax and wane through the writing process. This is where an accountability buddy comes in.
Having someone to check in and share your progress with creates just the right amount of positive pressure to help you get the job done.
This could be a friend, a writing coach, or another author you found through a writing Facebook group.
When you find your buddy, talk about how often you’ll check in, how you’ll communicate and what your goals are. Don’t forget to be honest about your progress here; your buddy should be someone who encourages you when you’re falling behind, not judges you.
11. Start light
When learning how to start a memoir, you don’t want to begin with something heavy. Finding a way to bring light or humor to darker events will make people feel more relaxed and ease them into your book.
If your reader feels sad throughout your whole book, they simply won’t want to read it. Try engaging your readers by leading with some humor.
12. Establish a relationship with your readers
You can’t learn how to start a memoir without thinking about your readers. Memoir writers can have a personal connection with their readers, but this isn’t always the case, especially if the work is intended for a broader public rather than just family and friends.
Consider the question: Is this interaction external or internal?
Is writing your life story like sitting down with a few close friends in your living room to share your experiences (external), or is it more like having an internal dialogue while letting readers eavesdrop?
Are you speaking to an audience or reflecting privately?
To enhance your chances of success when learning how to start a memoir, be clear about your primary intent from the start and communicate it to your readers.
Doing so will help engage them and make them eager to hear more of your story.
Final thoughts on how to start a memoir
Learning how to start a memoir isn’t always easy, but it is worth it! If you have a message you want to share with the world, we want to make sure that happens. At selfpublishing.com, we’re standing by to help learn how to start a memoir – and how to finish it every step of the way. Just schedule a book consultation to get started!