You're not average. So why does your life keep looking like it?
Lilly Sciolli is an author, entrepreneur, and creator with a background in business and computer science. She wrote her first book at eleven and has since built digital products, grown the free-orbit brand, and published four books. After leaving consulting at twenty-five, she returned to creating and challenging the ordinary.
In her debut nonfiction book, WHO TOLD YOU TO SETTLE?, Lilly has crafted a practical guide for ambitious people who are tired of feeling stuck, playing small, or accepting a life that looks good on paper but doesn't feel extraordinary.
Lilly Sciolli's free-orbit formula gives you five core terms and twenty practical principles for breaking free from mediocrity and building a life that actually feels like yours.
Today, we sat down with Lilly to talk about her inspiration, writing process, and her book that’s going to change lives.
Book Title: Who Told You to Settle? How to Make Extraordinary Your Default
Genre: Non-Fiction, Self-Help
Website: lillysciolli.com
Hey, Lilly! Thanks for chatting with us. Can you start by sharing a bit about yourself and Who Told You To Settle?
I wrote my first book at eleven and self-published two more after that—all before finishing school. Coming from a business and computer science background, I entered the startup and corporate scene while still studying, then quit consulting at twenty-five to go back into creator mode: building digital products, growing the free-orbit brand, and writing this book. Settling has never felt like an option for me. That’s how Who Told You to Settle? was born.
Amazing! What inspired you to write about this specific topic for your fourth publication?
My personal experience. Since I was a child, I've always been drawn to challenge myself, chase my ambitions, and not fit into the standard path. My dad early on told me "always be out of average" and this sentence became my life philosophy.
However, life outside the boundaries of average is not always easy: on one side you have brutal standards toward yourself, on the other side you live in a world that is "normal" by default and being a misfit there becomes exhausting if you don't have coping mechanisms.
At 21, I started writing my diary "How to become Lilly Sciolli." In there, I'd keep life principles I figured out that would keep me sane while being an ambitious misfit. After hitting rock bottom in summer 2025, due to living a life perfect on paper but felt extremely wrong, I quit my consulting job and got back to that diary and started writing my book based on the principles I collected over the years.
Who would you say must read this book?
Ambitious misfits in their 20-30s who know are meant for more but currently are stuck in a life that does not fit them because they are still waiting for permission to step into their extraordinary self (money, time, or judgment holds them back) and they don't have an operating system to actually show up at their highest potential sustainably over time
What would you say the top 3 things are that someone will learn from Who Told You to Settle?
- Break the cycle of settling for "good enough.": understanding why settling feels like dying to them and how to define a life outside of the average.
- Make extraordinary choices consistently, not just when inspiration strikes: develop a daily operating system to constantly show up as their greatest version while making sure to keep growing and never plateau.
- How to live an ordinary life without burning out: how to choose environments and people to surround themselves with purpose and stop feeding the friction created through their ambitious misfit nature.
Can you tell us a bit about the writing process? How’d you turn all these ideas into a single, clear guide?
It started with some night sessions in September, me in my living room, basically no light, myself and my computer. Feeling the friction of being an ambitious misfit and needing it to go out of my head and into paper (this has always been the best way for me to process things).
Then I got back to my diary "How to become Lilly Sciolli." I read all the principles, saw the patterns. Started pouring more thoughts on the pages. And then I started letting out stories that supported my principles (where does this all come from?).
I ended up with a first draft in November, left my consulting job, and started writing full-time in December. Here I pivoted: I knew I needed to figure out a sharper outline for the manuscript so that it would serve my readers. I put all the principles and what I had so far on Postits and put them on my bedroom floor in front of me. Shuffled around until I had a clear structure.
Then I went on a one month adventure vacation in Africa. Each afternoon, after some safaris and long drives, I'd work on the manuscript. Somewhere in Swakopmund Namibia, I figured out the missing piece of my book: one core engine that tied all principles of the books together: the "free-orbit velocity formula." One metaphor, one "math proven" mechanism to escape the average's gravity. Finally it all made sense!
I went back from my break into my new full time job. The manuscript was almost final and ready to go into editing, but I was now working 100% . So I needed to go back to my productivity hacks to perform at my job while building my author side hustle.
I actually also documented the entire process of writing my book into one framework I called Author Roadmap.
What was one of the biggest challenges you faced during that process?
Not getting lost too much in my personal stories, but giving enough to make it relatable and a good proof of why what I'm telling matters and why my solution works. I was able to identify repetitions and hence slimming my manuscript down thanks to the work with my editor Katelynn. Now the final version of the book is much tighter and delivers value to the reader way faster and sharper.
Second, not sounding arrogant. Since I was a child, I figured that in life you can either settle or not. Both choices are valid. I can tell that there are more happy people because they've settled than the other way around. However, being on the side of the ones that don't want to settle and explaining in a book why you should not and how to do it/what makes you different from those who do settle, is a fine line between being honest and sounding arrogant. Thanks to one beta reader's feedback I understood how to position/communicate myself without coming across as arrogant. He simply told me "You are a person who does not isolate herself from the average world, you live within it, without giving yourself up to fit it. That should be exactly your voice." I translated this into validation of both choices.
What was one of your favorite parts of the process?
Coming home. I've always been an ambitious misfit and in particular a builder. Since I was a kid, I’ve been creative—I wrote, shot movies, etc. However, since starting my journey in the business world, I lost this part of me a little bit because my ambition got me into performing to build the best CV I could. Writing this book enabled me to go back on track, feel more aligned with myself, and ultimately be happy. Beside my job as product manager (which is also about being a builder), I'm building my personal brand, YouTube channel, events, and planning more books. In the past year, simply being me was the biggest highlight.
What are your plans for the future with this book and/or your business?
I want to create a community for ambitious misfits, all those free-orbits that need a place to support each other and get inputs on how to be extraordinary every single day.
I'll start hosting events/retreats for people to connect, get inspired, and inspire others. This will also be a place for me to share what I've figured so far and empower others. Similarly, I’ll be growing my YouTube channel to share more about my journey and my principles.
Any final inspiration for others looking to self-publish?
I'm the type of person who thinks "I can do it all by myself." What I learned throughout this process is that you can actually achieve higher quality results faster if you rely on the expertise of people who did it before you. Working with selfpublishing.com took off tons of to-do items and made my author journey much easier.
Connect with Lilly Sciolli:
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@lillyscioll
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/lilly-sciolli
Sign Up For Her Newsletter: https://lillysciolli.com/
Has Lilly’s story inspired you to share your own? Learn more about the book writing support, editing services, book coaching, and more she received as a part of the Author Advantage Accelerator Elite Program? Schedule a consultation today or take the quiz above to find the right program for you and your book!
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